I didn't whisper to you today.
But that one moment
will retrace the lost path of togetherness.
Destined forever you are for me,
sure I am that I'll make you mine.
that part made me think of happily ever afters ARE possible even though i know most aren't happily ever afters where there is a castle there to go "home" where a woman knows her man will be faithful but in this poem it makes me believe in love! :) good job my friend! :) 5/5
"I adore the second line, as I find it so relate-able. It's something we all think at some point or other, I'm sure. I was also fond of how the author states that their eyes would say what they wanted to, even though they couldn't. I'm assuming they mean 'I love you' ? What I wasn't fond of was the last two lines. It seemed somewhat cliche to me...like the poems we see so often stating how someone wants someone, loves them, will be their's etc. And that ruined it a little for me. I think had the ending been a little better worded I would have liked this much more than I did."
The 1st line reveals a superior start for the story, related to respiration.
The 3rd line represents the author's hope to find a chance as a lost person who exists without the beloved. This is so hard. This is also related to the title of the poem.
The last line shows how confident is the author as though saying "You are mine".
This piece is one of my favorites of yours.
I loved it.
The determination here is almost astounding, theres a bit of sadness yet, but its like youve made up your mind and you know who is "The One". This is a moment im sure a ot of people wish they could do over, so many of us screw it up and spend a good portion of our existance scrambling to fix it... i know a lot of other have interpretted it as romantic and happy but when i read it i see mostly my failure along similar lines and it makes me sad.
still though, its ability to evoke that is impressive, and its still fantastically written... i can appreciate how succinct it is.