Vacant soul (Alliterisen)

by Masked metaphor   Apr 6, 2013


Distance decadence in grieving graves
Surrounding sorrows suffer ferocious fates
Tears trace tender paths patiently
Memories multiply as thoughts threaten
A vacant visible soul
Searching and seeking for hopes happy home.
Among ancient vexed and vacant love.

The Alliterisen (Complex and Rhyming), a form created by Udit Bhatia, is a simple seven-lined poem with a specific syllable pattern and two alliterations per line. For example: Glorious Graves, and wonderful waves. Alliteration is the succession of similar consonant sounds. They are not recognized by spelling, but rather by sounds. The syllable structure for the Complex Alliterisen is as follows:

1st line- 9 syllables
2nd line- 11 syllables
3rd line- 8 syllables
4th line- 9 syllables
5th line- 7 syllables
6th line- 10 syllables
7th line- 9 syllables

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Latest Comments

  • 5 years ago

    by Lune de ma vie

    The opening line pulled me in. This was so somber and full of agony but beauty seeped out throughout each word.

    The poem took me back and made me feel how it feels to lose someone, to grieve when you have lost someone into the grave - never a fun feeling but your words were really capturing and simply able to make me feel that way, that is a powerful poem.

    Your words were unique and strong in every way, you have such a gift to pull the reader in and make them feel a certain way.

  • 6 years ago

    by Andrew Packard

    Thanx for the info on the form. I'll have to try it!

  • 6 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    Um, WOW! I adore this form! I've always been a big fan of alliteration...but this is just awesome.

    Great word usage, however I think your syllable count is off. I could be wrong, but from what I counted it wasn't correct. So, maybe just take another gander at it? If it's correct, I'm sorry for wasting your time by recounting. :P

  • 6 years ago

    by Rusheena

    I love this! I've never heard of this form, but I definitely want to try it. The alliteration adds more depth and allows you linger on each line more, which really helps you appreciate every word. Great write! Favorited!