Beautifuly sad..

Wow, this blew my mind, outstanding poem, truly heart piercing, such a sad poem with beautiful lines screaming out to my every emotion, two thumbs up!

Nice rhyme & flow, although it peters away a little (dwindles) for me towards the end! ie...
'Tears are merging from a
lonely place, and I am falling
like the moon at the start of
day'.

'fading away'.. perhaps or something likewise !

I really like this poem and the concept
Sadness rising like the sun to me was another way of saying your mind natural sought the meaning of your sorrow
My life lack meaning if you're
not needing me, so use my love
to build a home make of
I most likely would not have stumbled on this stanza if it was written
My life (lacks) meaning if you're
not needing me, so use my love
to build a home (made) of...
just a suggestion . I will have to give it a 5 for the meaning behind it

Truly Heart-breaking!
Nice flow and flawless to me. Very touching and emotional.

Keep penning:)

Oh, Shante! I've missed you, where have you been hiding? :P

So, this piece broke my heart... the yearning for love from this person is so evident...but it seems they don't care. :( It's a terrible feeling to love someone and they don't return it. </3

"I pray for you more than
I pray for myself. I breathe
for you, yet you only breathe
when you're away."

^When you pray for someone more than you do yourself, you know you would put your life on the line for them. You truly do love and care about this person more than life itself.

You can only breathe easily when they are around, yet it seems they can only breathe when they are away... to me, this sounds like the person feels smothered or it could even be stress of being in the situation of a bad relationship. I know when I'm stressed, I want to be alone... I want to be able to think clearly, so I think that's what I think you meant here.

"My life lack meaning if you're
not needing me, so use my love
to build a home make of
resinous tree.And when the
rain start falling you'll be able
to swell with courage, from
the loves that lives in me."

^Favorite stanza here! I love the mention of the resinous tree! Ahhh, to be able to piece it back together as one. Lovelovelove.

Overall, a tear-jerking piece...love it all throughout. I do agree with a few of the minor typos that Michael mentioned, though. But no biggie. :)

Wow, very deep and emotional. i love it

Really nice....I like it:)