Intense. Good Imagery. Wonderful!
I really could feel your words.

Keep penning:)

I like the very straightforward way you have of styling this poem... as in how you structured your lines. It gives me a surreal taste of what this girl is doing to herself, and as I read your author's note, I think you succeeded in saying a lot about what is her reality in so few stanzas.

I also want to say I appreciate how you showed me the action, and didn't just describe this act of self-harm, self-hatred, pain, you actually let me see the character at her lowest moment which spoke to my heart and also led me to believe and wonder how long she hasn't believed/trusted in herself.

I think this is creative, good imagery with the heart beat- it was simple, direct, and not overdone. Good job, you can definitely feel the frustration and sense of not being able to do anything about it. Good luck with the contest!

The white knife reflected a white hot passion that makes a wound deeper rather than sealing any wounds . After reading your aim in the foot note I realized you hit your mark.

Very nice.. this is the first time I got into a poem like this.. I have a lot of hate and it feels perfect with this

Very nice.. this is the first time I got into a poem like this.. I have a lot of hate and it feels perfect with this

Comment from Round 1 of FOP contest:

I admire how you took a different path than I guess I would have assumed from first reading this. It's easy to think pain could have been the category you were going for here, but aiming towards hate actually portrays so much more that's unsaid, but gives the reader that opportunity to wonder and care for this person. I like how indirect this is- you worded and placed your words cleverly to never truly say whether this is literal or not... I had many perspectives, one being self-harm, but then when you wrote "placed against her cheekbones", I thought maybe this girl is isolating herself from the world for all the times she has been portrayed. I like how you take this one moment in time and describe how real it is to the reader, that this isn't just dramatized, each breath almost becomes too much weight to handle. I also liked the "whendiditbecomeso", because I feel that frustration, and also that shame for feeling so futile to stop it.

One of the different poem here and new to read like this.
keep writing..

Nice

Captivating all round