Tornado Of Shame

I agree saffie your writing is very beautiful and so well detailed. This poem is very sad indeed. The idea here is really good as the past or even a person can always be a storm. The first few stanzas hold deep regret of what has happened in your past. I always love reading about life as we show what really happened. I see this like a puzzle. You are slowly trying to put the peices back together and realize that you can change though it will be very difficult to do so. I love the metaphors you used for the sky and your life. The rain and clouds are what your life is right now and the sun is what you want your life to be which is happiness and light.

When you survive the storm of life it's hard to get control of anything that you once had. It seems all the memories you once had were faded. The poem has a whole as some kind of mmystery to it. You leave the reader thinking that you can get better but the end is twisted in a way. You survived whatever happened in your past but it's heartbreaking because you are left with nothing. You give the character such a sad tone. You want to save or help them but you know you can't. This is a great write though because you take the reader on a ride through this life that ends up worse then at the start. Great job.

This is indeed a very nice poem. Saff, your poems have so much of depth in them and convey a profound meaning.

Really amazing!

Keep writing:)

This is so very well written and...I did like that you used nature's elements through out. Just some thoughts that I have for you to consider...once again lol!

My world becomes shaded,
as my heart buries itself
in the past of darkness.

^^^

For some reason I want to separate this...it reads to me like an intro and should stand alone to give it merit?

I no longer see the sun,
as thick clouds take over the sky,
*and it soon begins to rain. *
I think this sentence could be a lot stronger..just sound a little predictable right now..the clouds and then rain?

Puddles of regrets form in my eyes,
then downpour onto my pillows.

^^^

I know most people sleep with more than one pillow but plural just sounded strange to me...don't know why.
Flashes of realization
take my breath away, when
it seems so easy to go back
and change what's in our past.

(to never let the darkness begin.)

The powerful tornado of guilt
spins me inside winds of shame.

^^^

Not sure about *spins* it seems rather tame when you include tornado here...maybe something stronger but...I just can't think of anything right now..

(shame that will forever belong with me.)

My world becomes shaded
as I realise that I may have
survived the storm, but
it is impossible to replace
the things I lost.

^^^^

Somethings can never be replaced but most people learn to live without them...