I crawl into my bed and wipe away the tears
No amount of sweet, reassuring words can rid me of,
Grabbing the razor, an escape I refused to visit for so long,
And bring it to my forearm, letting out a choked sob.
I drag it across and wince at the pain,
Doing it over and over again until I feel little to nothing;
Watching the blood bead and spill over each pucker of irritated skin,
And closing my eyes, my heart silent amongst the screaming silence.
I tense as I press in deeper, flexing my knuckles absently
As my mind wanders and my eyes flutter closed
Shock setting in as I go deeper with each
And sigh; relief slowly washing over my stiff spine.
Old scars had faded away but I create more,
Each more prominent than the last,
As disappointment taints each tear
And I lose respect for myself
As the pain subsides.
