A Confession about How Much I Used to Hate You

((Note from the present: This one is old, written after a real bad break-up. Reading it again after all this time, I realize what I child I was, and how "forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past". Even so, I have the responsibility to own up to who I became, even though I loathe that person now that I'm over it. Enjoy.))

Aug. 27, 2010:

"Even when all is blind, I will see you
Even when all is deaf I will hear your voice
Even when the crowds of lifeless shadows
acts as a blockade, I will break through just to find you
If all was dead and the deathly dreamvoid taken me
I would come back and see you one last time
Without you, I am become a void-stricken hollow
Broken, and so lost

Everything was meant to be just fine
but things rarely turn out the way as planned"

It's all a game, and it always turns out the same
Each day is a dream, nothing is what it seems
Life is a charade, so I guess I'll say 'well played'
My hands are cold, this life is growing old

Each somber tone spoken is a burning dragonfly
And everything I ever lived out feels like a stupid lie!

-And I'm so lost, so confused
I feel violated and used
Each step forward is two steps back
The pillars in my life have begun to crack-

They always used to say
to be careful what you wish for
And I regret every single day
that was spent being wrong

-And I'm so cold, so confused
Woe is me, and I was misused
Each step forward is two steps back
The floor in my mind has begun to crack-

And I hate everything I was forced to become
They say I'm strong, and I may be stronger than some
but in reality I'm weak, fragile and young
Always so certain, but yet still wrong

My skin is turning green with envy
I'll unite the world and face the woe assembly

-And I'm so hurt, so misplaced
Everything I had I must erase
Each leap forward creates a greater fall
and I will die if I have to, cause I need it all

The pain is constant and sharp
But all hope for a better life is not yet gone,
as long as you stay out of my life
I will find peace someday,
But not until you're gone.-