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by Xandra Feb 16, 2014
Life, society /
This life has led me to believe
The dreams I dream can't be achieved
I glimpse them written in the sky
But they turn to mist with a gentle sigh
Tease me with your tempting words
Cause me such pain, cause me such hurt
..Even as these sorrowful feelings flow
You know quite well I'll never let you go..
"Her head is in the clouds they say"
In whispered words as they turn away
To them, I have no reason to feel
this longing for something they think unreal
Though sometimes, I hide it for a while
Kept secret behind a practiced smile,
It pulls me fiercely, igniting my heart
Til I can no longer bare our part
And so this beautiful, insubstantial dream
Is where I'm destined to dwell, it seems
Well written..its indeed interesting
Pretty. Interesting. I'll talk to you tomorrow about the emotion of this. but for now, the technical comment:
I think your rhymes were well done and only seemed forced in one or two places. Your flow was flawless, and your style topped that off perfectly. Your word choice was interesting but well used.