Heavy

I feel like I'm suffocating.
Drowning in my own insecurities.

When did they get so heavy that I couldn't carry them on my own anymore?

I want you to help me so bad.
But as I try to yell, pride fills my mouth and makes me choke.
I see now that the damage is already done... I'm done

I can't blame you for e being upset.
As I slip under the water's surface I become so distant.
It's impossible to recognize me.

Will you hate me as well?
When you find out it's my insecurities that killed me?
My imperfections that kept me from reaching out to you?

It seems so fitting that I've found someone who cares enough to throw me a life line and I'm too weak to take it.

My arms are heavy now
My lungs are burning
It's too dark to see under the water
I hope you can swim faster than my heavy heart that sinks me.