I am Queer and I am here

by Kakera   Mar 30, 2014


I am queer. I am queer. I am queer, and I'm here.
I'm not heterosexual, and I'm not my body.
I taste these words as they escape my tongue, leaving my throat dry as fear fills me.

I am afraid of being myself in a world where "my kind" have our flesh adorned with knives merely for existing.

And I'm afraid of existing.

I'm afraid that my non-conformity and my non-binary true me doesn't have a place among my peers:
that I'm meant to remain outside closed circles, dull and dreary.

So I hold my breath and force myself to sink instead of swim in this vast ocean of hatred that I don't think I can overcome;
I welcome the river of three crossings, hoping to find solace in the divinely shallow afterlife.

But instead of witnessing the rapture, I have my skin painted with self-loathing as spite rains upon me, and when I try to rid myself of these spit stains I'm drawn toward building barricades of masks around me with the behemoth demons in my heartbeats pounding.

Because I am queer, and I am here. I look around me and in the abyss I stare into I am shown the light of love and endurance --

I am queer, and I am here, and I'll survive. I will wear the heavy scars on my back as monuments to my survival indeed, and I'll overcome the fear and the self-destruction --

because I am queer and I am here, and I'm not alone.

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  • 10 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Well this is a beautiful, inspiring and uplifting poem my sweet! Your word usage amazes me and I truly loved reading every line.. It's so sad that this world and todays society can't embrace love! You should be free to love whomever you want, to be who you are and not live in fear... I could go on and on... but this is a very powerful poem!

    • 10 years ago

      by Kakera

      Thank you so much, Andrea! I'm very relieved that I finally managed to get this one out from the pits of my stomach, because it's been dwelling there for quite some time. I'm happy how it turned out as well, and I'm extremely happy to see your wonderfully kind response! <3