Curse of tears

Two years past and not a single drop falls down my face,

big heart with emotions that are always pushed back,

everything and everyone, i push so hard to see smile,

and once it all turns around it will fall again,

with no power to hold back ill break again and have to rebuild,

a few years will past and it will happen again,

it must be a curse, a hex? or maybe what is meant for me till the end.