Waiting

For the last three weeks, I waited,
Every doubt and hurt was forced into my thoughts.
I believe in you and trust you,
Although, history plays such a crucial role.

The past was never my friend,
Now more than ever memories threaten my future.
I just want happiness,
Life is never easy and always difficult.

Even now as beautiful things happen,
Shadows lurk in the darkness.
They attach themselves to me and my state of mind.
I want to sleep.

Panic awakes me!
It was nothing,
But still my heart beats rapidly.

What can I say I never was one for waiting......