Newsstands

Its not that I mind these dead

- it's

Boy grants girls heart a reason for beating

- girl's heart

how its possible to believe again

- it's

-------------------------

Wow! I adore this poem. Firstly your title had me thinking what could be in this poem, that fact it was in the love section. But, you done an amazing job connecting the title to the poem, so good choice.

I really like the starting line, because you show how you are trying not to have these thoughts, but they are so strong that you cannot fight them, they just seem to appear anyway.
The imagery of the housing and cul-de-sac was so unique and creative, showing that you just cannot escape from these thoughts and feelings. Another way of showing being inside a maze, but to use houses was so simple, yet so creative! The emotion really shows in the end line there, that missing someone stops you from being free, it stops you from happiness and hope, and believing in your future because it keeps you in the past. This line really hit home for me.

freedom tasting like July??? Wow... another great line, July just brings so much lovely thoughts and associations with it. this is one of those lines that describe how poetry should show what you mean, and not just tell it. The descriptive ideas in this stanza followed on just as powerful, and leading to that newspaper, you cannot help but read those lines about "read all about it" and not put on the same voice and tone that you hear it said in! Loved this!

I like how you separated the headline into its own line, it really stands out and makes a clear vivid statement of exactly what it is that you are meaning to say.

There is so much strength in your next stanza about women who find themselves without love, hope, wishes, happiness. You describe how it does come, it is there, and it is worth waiting for. I really like the idea of
"for women
who have felt unworthy, who have let a man control
their value, who felt unloved unless naked"

- this held so much power, this could make a shorter poem on its own, (yes that is a challenge) I think it shows how women have become accustomed to what they think that men expect from them, and through their past experiences, some women find it the only way they know how to get that love. I love how you turned this around and made a point of showing the positive love and attention as another outcome! you used some really contrasting words but it word so well, like abrupt and gentle, and harsh and sweet, this was beautifully put together to get your meaning across.

You then go on to give the imagery of women begging on their knees, to please men who do not deserve their love, and instead, should be praying for someone who will deserve their love and return it equally and more! to erase insecurities is so powerful, because when you are truly loves by someone, they do help those insecurities become less and less.

Your ending is beautiful, again bringing back that newspaper image, with the headline, and the idea that this one person could change your beliefs, and turn you brokenness into belief again. It is just beautiful.

I loved this poem, and I think it must be one of my favourites from you, or at least in a long while anyway.

Such an uplifting tone and message. Lovely job. x x

How Original! I love this so much, its really creative and flows flawlessly. There is this really strong image of the newspaper/magazine and I can really just get into this piece. I love the ending, so positive and uplifting, really really great words Chelsey xxx