I love her

by ryan woollard   Jun 2, 2014


I don't know why my heart beats fast when I talk to her when I look into her eyes its like I'm seeing my perfect paradise if I ever lost her I would be left paralyzed.

Her heart and soul is something so beautiful she has a beautiful heart of gold the kindest soul my love burns deep In my heart i can't keep it hiding i need her to know i need to show if my love will ever be good enough for her to love me like i do.

her smile is a piece of heaven so much beauty so perfect whenever I think of her a smile comes on my face smiling forever I just hope we can be together forever no matter what storm is coming I love you no matter what I just hope she feels the same

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  • 9 years ago

    by Dancing Rivers

    That's really beautiful,I love the raw, simplicity of it, the way you say it like it is, it's refreshing to read a down to earth love poem.you really are a romantic from what I can see of your works so far :-)

  • 9 years ago

    by JesusFreakAuthor

    I would nomiate this if i could its so good, wow, i loved it 100/100!!!

  • 9 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    I agree with Adreamer that this piece is a cliche but sometimes that's just how love is. You can lay all of your feelings out on the line and they may sound corny and cliche, but they are true. I can tell this came from your heart and that is the best way to write. Continue to do that and your words will grow stronger with time.

    A few suggestions:

    First and foremost, use punctuation. You have just one big run-on sentence and it is unpleasant for the reader, it makes it confusing on where to stop and start. Make sentences, use commas where needed, etc. Also make sure when you end a sentence, to capitalize the first letter of the new sentence.

    Break your poem into stanzas. Right now you have a block of words, like a paragraph. When you break it down, it will read easier and give off a better visual.

    Overall, I understood the feelings you were trying to describe. Keep writing, you can only go up from here! :)

    • 9 years ago

      by ryan woollard

      When I try break it up my phone I use to post it somehow doesn't let me do it but I very much appreciate the advice thank you very much.

      I'll take it all aboard thanks again :)

  • 9 years ago

    by BlueJay

    I like how innocent this write is and how honest it feels even in its cliche nature (i hope that does not offend you, but almost all love poems fit that nature in some way or another). You chose a very simple word choice here and even though I prefer more strength when I read, it really fit this piece and it created a voice that i found nothing less than interesting. Well written. Very nicely done.

    -M.R.K.

    • 9 years ago

      by ryan woollard

      I am not your just giving your honest opinion and I very much appreciate that thank you very much