Rest

I don't think it's right
Having these feelings
Each and every night
Wanting to end my life
Not valuing fear of death
Whenever it's near
And why should I
There's no one holding me
I pour my heart and soul
Then can't pick up the phone
The time I did
I got no reply
Wondering if me being the best was nothing but a lie
So easy to forget
Not wanting to be a pest
I'll lay with my demons this final rest
How do I go
I don't know
I just want rest
Maybe with a bullet in my chest
Stopping my heart it's final beat
I don't want these thoughts
I remember now
So long ago I took a vow
To not let anyone in
But I slipped up again
I'm not even worth while
First wanting to run away
Now I just want to run a blade
Through my veins
Opening them for the world to see
As I feel lite I wonder why
Life was so hard
I never wanted to fight to win
All I fought for was the end
I guess it's because if you win
You will never get the feeling again
So rather than living in sorrow
I rather end it now and not see tomorrow