Comments : False Spring (haiku)

  • 9 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I was nodding my head along to this haiku, as you captured what many are feeling. Spring is around the corner, yet we can't set expectations too high... seems over here we're just excited it rose to 40s in temp.

    Congrats on the win!

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Congrats on the win Larry. well deserved :)

  • 9 years ago

    by Sunshine

    Congrats!! amazing poem

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    The technical aspect of this poem is great, each line giving into the other one.

    False Spring came this day

    ^ This line is fantastic to start the poem out with, because it takes the reader to a place where I think this year we all know where it is leading. This tells me that spring is trying to bloom out from the cold, and just for one day it has done that, but the next day it became winter again or the cold came back. The thing about this line is that we grasp the idea right away of the poem,

    with all its attendant hopes;

    ^ This line is continued from the first and goes together well. hope is such a beautiful to use for spring though, not a lot of people will catch that detail, as spring is thought of to be hopeful and bright. attendant hopes, as you are saying that it was trying to bloom but winter came back!

    blooms perish in frost.

    ^ what an ending to a great haiku, this actually shows the reader that winter is here and back. This tells me also the flowers have been bloomed, but the cold knocked them away. This poem is great as it tells a story and you make it in the point of view of spring and make spring a personality, great haiku. 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    With all its attendant hopes;

    ^^This line stands out with hope and more for my mind to hold onto. I like the use of the word attendant here; its like Spring's little workers running around to prepare a majestic welcome; but all in vain due to frost. I gather the winter storm put a damper on it. Nice Haiku and Congrats on the win!

  • 9 years ago

    by Andrew Packard

    Nice!

  • 8 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    I feel this form does not get much attention on this site, or certainly not on the front page, however, Larry has greatly shown how much impact you can put into a small form like this. It is very relevant to the timing of year at the moment, which is what most of these forms lack, they are not written in the precise moment of time to capture that particular moment, but I feel this one does just that, and does it very well. Impressive job Sir Larry.

  • 8 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judging Comment

    I truly admire when a writer can express a general message and then tie in a mixture of other messages into a poem.

    With a Senryu however, its such a small format and tied in with syllable restriction that it becomes even harder to accomplish a group of meanings and that is what Larry did here and more.

    This is also my interpretation as well.

    The eagerness of spring is a powerful thing when winter has a hold on a person and then to be disappointing with hopes of freshness, following another fallen snow or coldness, it tends to be a huge disappointment...

    Where the mixture of messages ties in with this piece is the word "disappointment" which I have mentioned above, stating that there can and always will be disappointment and that strength within can be drawn from that, which brings in hope that things can and will be better.

    This 3 lined Senryu, and perfect syllable count leaves me speechless all in all and I applaud Larry this week!

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    I've always admired poets who can say so much in such a little space. It's a wonderful gift, and judging by this piece, you have it. Wonderful.