Pills In My Palm

Holding the pills in the palm of my hand,
my mind flashes back to a place of darkness
I thought I had long buried.

A memory filled with fear,
I can almost taste them dissolving in my mouth
as I refuse to swallow what they force down my throat.

My brain starts to process the reality
of exactly what happened to me, and why -
unanswered questions suddenly becoming clear.

I try to remember that this is now,
and I am the one in control,
but as I count the pills in my palm,
I wonder if that is such a good thing
after all.

Saffie
24

28/7/15