Firstly I must say how lovely it is to see you posting poetry again.
This strict form shows your talent hasn't gone rusty. The dark imagery is terrifyingly vivid. The alliteration pokes deep into my mind and rattles like tail of a cobra. All this wrapped up in excruciating pain.
All in all a wonderful chilling piece.
Well done Cindy.
Michael (((hugs))) xx
4 years ago
by Ben Pickard
What a superb, dark piece this is Cindy. I wasn't around when you were prominent on the site before, but as Michael says, great to see new work from you as I can see on your profile, your last piece was a while ago! This site needs as many people active as possible - and talent such as yours shouldn't be spared the limelight!
All the very best,
Cindy, I won't remark on the form as I have little knowledge of most of them. Great to see you writing again. With your poem you can feel the anguish and hurt of losing a loved one. Lovely write despite the category. Love ya.
4 years ago
This piece is written really well. It seems the voice of this piece is fear. There is something about when a loved one is away all of our nightmares seems to stay with us. I get "nightmares" from how you used screams, it seems like something you fear or something from your past is haunting you and the only person that can "save" you is away. Or I think it could be read as, because this person is away they are the one who is haunting you. When we feel sad there is always a hint of loneliness that becomes part of us. "Evil darkness" is a great way to describe nightmares and feeling alone as well. Overall you did an excellent job in writing such a powerful piece in such few lines. 5/5