To Awake One Day

Oops, double post...

Hello,

I would like to comment on this poem from you if I may...

To awake one day
^
This is like 'once upon a time...' It is intriguing and a great start to any piece of creative writing.

To fall asleep in the bed of your arms,
with your chest pillowing my dreams,
and your heart beating a lullaby to me
I wish
I wish
^
A wonderful simile, using a bed as a person. A lover; there comfort like the softness feathers of that pillow. Now that is a place that anyone would want to be.

But for your lips to blanket my body with a kiss,
or many, my darling dear...
And for your eyes to awake me while watching me
sleep...
I yearn
I yearn
^
Yes, this is super. A blanket of kisses. Kisses to adorn every inch. Who would not yearn for this attention, this devotion, this love?

One day.
^
This line is like a bomb landing. it makes this reader wonder if this lover is imaginary or just a just a hope for a future love some day...

An excellent write.

Take care,

Michael

Lucero
What a beautiful piece. To fall asleep with your head on the chest of the one you love.is the best thing. Listening to their heart beating is like a lullaby. Something I use to cherish.
Great job!
Take care
Cindy
~ hugs~