This is me

Why is it that i feel a since of duty to the ones i hurt. Is it because I know that I'm partially to blame for there pain... i feel like if i would have done more to help them that i could ease the pain that they now live in. They have done nothing but been loyal to me. What scares me most is that the list keeps growing. i keep finding these damaged people and all i want to do is help them. give them a little pice of myself to make them stronger... maybe i have given to much. i feel like im losing myself. all the beautiful thoughts that once flowed through my mind have faded. they've been replaced with hate and discontent.. but then again iv never been content. i have for as long as i remember wanted more. i didnt want it handed to me. i wanted to earn it through blood sweet and tears.because that way once i had it. it was mine. no one would dare try and take it from me. though i don't want to be standing on that mountain top alone. because how sad would that be. to be alone. i would rather lose everything than have the whole world. just to have that person to stand beside me that wants the same. I've always hated too come to think of it. It stared same and has only grown. That just may be the symptoms of being human. Its our innocence that keeps us beautiful. once that is stripped away. life is never the same. no matter how bad you want them to be.