Spaces

by JB Guancia Dormido   Feb 4, 2016


Strolling down an empty hallway,
My footsteps echoed,
I can hear my deep breathing,
-the inhales;
-the exhales.
I can feel my heart pounding;
stretching my eyesight,
tracing the length of the path
I see unoccupied benches
stationed on each sides.
the silence,
the sullenness of the moment,
the emptiness,
-reminded me
of this human shaped
space inside.
a space
you filled when you came.
a space
you've left behind
when
you walked away.

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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    :

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Hello Jason,

    This really is a very sad write and you have created a situation and place vividly in the reader's mind with your descriptions of the empty hallway and the unoccupied benches and then relating that back to the emptiness you feel.
    I found the end particularly good. The way you build the hope by writing "A space you filled when you came" and then dash it just as suddenly with "a space you've left behind when you walked away"

    Well done and all the best,
    Ben