Comments : Restless Legs

  • 3 years ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello Brenda,

    Marathoners beat. This unconscious rhythm had me smiling initially, but then the 'dread thoughts' of another lonely night are bitterly sad. The sweet ending Is: love enduring the restless running through the 'Marathon ' night for that closeness your heart suffers for. After all, love is not about the good times is it?

    Thank you, I can relate to this.

    Michael

    • 3 years ago

      by Brenda

      Michael, thank you so much! It was written with a bit of humor, you almost have to while you are getting kicked in the shins. You definitely called it right, love isn't always about the good times, this too is something we will get through.Take care-Brenda

  • 3 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    "Love is not about the good times" - Michael

    Brenda, a great piece from you again here and truly moving and I couldn't have said it better than Michael did.

    Take care and all the best,
    Ben

    • 3 years ago

      by Brenda

      Ben, thank you so much! Yes, Michael did nail it on the head, love is the highest highs and the lowest lows and all mundane in between. I will keep him, even if he does kick, lol! Brenda

  • 3 years ago

    by Em

    Hi Brenda,

    I can definitely relate to this although it's me with the restless feet haha and him with the snoring.. What a pair!!
    Good piece, I bet many can relate to. Although you have to take the rough with the smooth haven't you.
    This bit 'i cling to the edge of the bed' rang true though as our youngest still sometimes sneaks into our bed and that's what we end up doing!!

    Take care, Em

    • 3 years ago

      by Brenda

      Em, thanks so much-yeah, we both snore so it's always fun sleeping - between the happy feet and chain saws, lol. Aww, I remember the days when the little ones would climb in bed, they are sprawled out in the center and you are both hanging on to the edges for dear life. It's all love so it's all good. Take care, sleep well lol!

  • 3 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    Nothing is so delicious as self-directed irony. The image of you clinging to the edge of the bed is delightful. The bittersweet toleration of his nocturnal stampede for the sake of maintaining solidarity with the loved one comes across as less of a burden than you put it. In fact, it appears that with your ability to laugh at it, and yourself, you have a certain nostalgia building for the nightly race.

    • 3 years ago

      by Brenda

      Yes, it's true, lol! I call it his happy feet- you really have to laugh at situations and each other, life is too short to freak out over every little thing, even if I'm getting kicked in the shins....

  • 3 years ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Brenda lovely poem about the trials of your lovers feet. Oh how I can relate to that. If I don't get to sleep before mine it's impossible to get to sleep because he does the same and like you I end up knees hanging off the bed. Love the term mosh pot fray and the perfectly captured imagery in a light hearted way. Loved it Milly xx

    • 3 years ago

      by Brenda

      Aww thanks Milly! Really appreciate the kind words-I totally agree with you about getting to sleep first-otherwise it's game on-lol. I love him dearly, even if he's kicking the heck out of me. Thanks again! Brenda

  • 3 years ago

    by AngelaLuisaCory

    This made me smile so much - so true! when you love someone it's amazing what you put up with - including little wriggly beings! Lovely.

    • 3 years ago

      by Brenda

      Thank you so much! I laugh to think how many beings and critters can share a bed each night-humor is the only way to go with this. Take care-Brenda

  • 3 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    This is an adorable and unique poem, undoubtedly one-of-a-kind. The rhyming scheme was splendid, and your word use definitely makes this poem spring to life, even though it might be about a topic that many of us may not have experience with (me, in particular).

    The only suggestion I'd have would be to rework the punctuation on the following fourlines:

    I fault him not
    it's not me he sought
    as his feet
    ran a marathoners beat.

    I would suggest putting a colon after "I fault him not", as you are describing why you aren't faulting him for this action. It also left me a bit confused, with no punctuation, as to what exactly was going on.

    Anyway, great work, and I look forward to seeing more of your work!

    5/5
    V/r
    IdTakeABulletForYou

    • 3 years ago

      by Brenda

      Thank you so much! I definitely see what you are talking about with the punctuation. Sleeping with someone who has restless legs can sometimes be challenging, I've gotten pretty good at avoiding his kicks.

  • 3 years ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    Wow, cute little poem brenda. Rhymes perfectly. At some stage we all know what its like to sleep next to a wiggly worm in the bed. :) Well done !

    • 3 years ago

      by Brenda

      Thank you! He makes sleep interesting, but I do love him dearly so we continue playing wiggle worm- lol. I appreciate your comments.

  • 3 years ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Brenda a wonderful poem that I can absolutely relate to having a husband who has twitchy legs. A unique and funny approach with that bitter sweet fear of being alone at the end. Loved it. Milly xx

    • 3 years ago

      by Brenda

      Thank you so much Milly! Yeah, you gotta have a sense of humor when it comes to sleeping with your loved one, especially when they kick. Hugs-Brenda

  • 3 years ago

    by stormingdance (Jessica)

    It is also hard to sleep when you are the one with restless legs. Sometimes my legs have a mind of their own. Walking for a good hour helps tire my legs out before bed.

    Wonderful write, thanks for sharing.

    • 3 years ago

      by Brenda

      Jessica, I totally understand that. I too have my moments when my legs are doing the happy dance. Maybe my honey and I should go for a hike before we go to bed and be too tired to kick each other-thank you for the wonderful idea.

  • 3 years ago

    by Adan7777

    A wonderful poem that I can absolutely relate to

    • 3 years ago

      by Brenda

      Thank you, I'm finding a lot of are relating to this. I on occasion have happy feet myself.

  • 2 years ago

    by Ren

    Brenda,

    This is absolutely adorable and sweet and very relatable! Well done :)

    • 2 years ago

      by Brenda

      Ren, thank you so much, I really appreciate your comments.

  • 2 years ago

    by Michael

    I really like this write Brenda, not easy sleeping with ones restless antics. But love pushes through :)

    Michael

    • 2 years ago

      by Brenda

      Michael, thank you so much! I do love my man so very much even when he's kicking the heck out of my shins, lol.

  • 2 years ago

    by CJ Maleney

    This really made me smile, and giggle a little.

    Thank you for sharing

    • 2 years ago

      by Brenda

      Thank you so much, I had to have some humor with this.

  • 2 years ago

    by Mayday

    Awwee, hehe. I love the rhyming pattern, Brenda! ^_^
    I understand how maddening those little kickers must get. My grandmother also has RLS. It's really maddening for her.
    I can especially see this happening- when you just want to snuggle up to your love and be comforted by them at the end of the day. ): But I really like what Michael said, about how your love pushes past this and so I still can't help but find this poem of yours overwhelmingly sweet. :3

    • 2 years ago

      by Brenda

      Awww, thank you Mayday! I will forever try to snuggle him even when he's kicking me like crazy.

  • 1 year ago

    by Dark Secrets

    This made me laugh. It's sweet how positive this is. Reminds me of my late husband and his snoring.

    • 1 year ago

      by Brenda

      Thank you so much! You know its definitely love. We both snore like bears lol and kick each other ...

  • 10 months ago

    by Zia Mikaela

    This just made my day a lil brighter! Please keep writing! This is amazing!

    • 10 months ago

      by Brenda

      Thank you so much!