First To Leave

Saffie
This is a sad but beautifully written piece.

I want to believe every word you say,
even before you say it,
but my insecurities and doubts
leave my trust restrained.
^^
This opening stanza sets the scene nicely shall I say. It's sad that when we trust so freely those people let us down and we can't trust properly again because of our insecurities. It's somewhat saddening because many people can relate to this and I can feel the emotions are real here and raw.

Even though I really love you,
I'm terrified that you won't stay with me,
and you will abandon me here on my own.
^^
This stanza again is a very relatable one for many people and an emotional one too because it shows the torment you have been through, with being abandoned previously and we are always tormented once abandoned once that we will be abandoned in other relationships.

I love you because
you seem to love me as I am,
and we can speak without words,
yet still understand.
^^
This stanza gives the impression that yes you love this person for them being understanding and loving you for you but you are not able to show your love wholeheartedly which is unfortunate and most likely linked to stanza 1 and 2 with the trust issues and past hurts. Also, relatable to the reader.

And I want to believe every word you say,
but instead,
I find myself walking away,
through fear that you'll leave me first
^^
This last stanza here gives the outcome of what happened because of the trust issues and unfortunately it wasn't a good one, like many others we can't be strong enough to hold on and see if that particular person is trustworthy and does actually love us for us we have to move on and it starts again over until we find someone who again shows us that they are with us through our insecurities and doubts and will help us through them.

Another good write from you. Take care.
Em

Hello Saffie.

Again, as boring as it may be becoming, the sheer amount of quality and heartfelt work you produce never ceases to amaze me BUT I promise never to bring it up again, lol

Stanza 1 - This is someone you obviously love and obviously want to trust but past misadventures with love (perhaps?) have left you struggling with the idea of giving yourself over that freely:".....insecurities and doubts leave my trust restrained". Not always a bad thing when you have been hurt, but too often crippling when you meet someone where that trust and love should be set free.

Stanza 2 -More glimpses into a past of torment and hurt. Here you acknowledge that you loved the person in question as was hinted at in the first stanza but you are 'terrified' of being left alone. (again?)

stanza 3 -Insight into why you love this person despite past hurts - they understand you and you seem to share that special connection that should be given a chance. Unfortunately, I am beginning to get the impression here that you are unable to. One stanza left, so I know the outcome is about to be revealed. Trusting? Not trusting? Staying or walking away from it?

Stanza 4 -As I suspected, damn you woman!
No happy ending here - just a person chained by the crippling affects of past hurts and insecurities and unable to trust a love that (to me at least) sounds like it was worth a punt on which makes the poem that much sadder: Here was someone that could have been the one, but you just couldn't summon the trust to know.

All the best Saffie and I hope you are keeping well,
Ben