Love Me So - Couplet Shadow Sonnet

by Everlasting   Apr 18, 2016


With lips that kiss my lips till I'm left with
With nothing but a crave to be just with
I guess... to be with you, my dear, can't I?
I know you love me so, and so do I!
Then why must we give up on our love then?
Then why can't we just fight for this love then?
Please tell me why oh why we can't, dear, please?
Please tell me why our love can't be, oh please!
You know that life can be unfair, don't you?
You know THAT, and you are scared, aren't you?
Though with love there's not a thing to fear though
Though with love there's nothing we can't do though

So be with me, my dear, and love me so
So be with me, and let me love you so.

Written by: L.L.

After reading Hellon's Shadow Sonnet, I had to give this form a try. It's challenging.

April 18, 2016

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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by Hellon

    Luce...I've tried to ignore this all day...I've read it over and over and..I didn't want my comment to sound like sour grapes. You haven't rhymed this sonnet..you just used the same words over and over. I wasn't the one to down vote you sweetheart...(have no idea who did) but..I'm saving my 5 vote for improvement because I know you can...

    • 8 years ago

      by Everlasting

      Hi Hellon,
      no worries, I don't really mind sour grapes, (unless they are extremely sour to the point that I cannot swallow them) though this comment does not sound sour at all. About the down rate, no worries either. I used to pay attention to it but now I don't. I'm mean, who was I kidding? I am an amateur so my poems are probably a 3 and a 4 rather than a 5. When that logic hit me, I no longer minded.

      I also didn't vote on your poem.

      About the rhyme... Hehe that's call an identical rhyme. It's considered really low type of rhyme because people tend to think of it as the writer did not try hard enough to find a perfect rhyme.

      In that sense, I can understand why people may not considered using the same word as rhyme.

      However, if you would like to challenge me to write a shadow sonnet with either perfect rhymes, eye rhymes, or even slant rhymes but no identical rhymes... I can give that challenge a try.

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