Last Night

For just a moment
I want to forget
The pain feeling deep in my soul
His body lay lifeless
beside me in bed
just memories left there to hold

I can't get a grasp
of events of the night
They're clouded behind all the fear
That stab at the dark
and fast losing light
and none of them seem very clear

Remembering arms
that's holding me fast
Against his true heart as it beats
But somehow they muddle
and never quite last
into darkness they soon retreat

A gun lay between us
a shell undisturbed
What happened i haven't a clue
Was he just unhappy
or did we have words
Oh Lord, how I wish that i knew.

I sit in the chamber
of our once happy home
No memory comes to the mind
Just pieces of thoughts
I puzzle alone
no answers to questions i find

Now in the clear
of the breaking of day
A yearning for truth i admit
Has captured my mind
to somehow replay
in hopes that the memories fit

Why can't i remember
or should i forget
How the thoughts juggle deep in my soul
The love and the laughter
of when we first met
now vacant of life and so cold

Still now comes a calm
as the moon slowly fades
I know now what i have to do
I pick up the gun
and a shot makes it's way
remembrance of what my mind knew