A snow-pregnant sky,
threatening to give birth
to another blizzard,
mirrored my mood

^^

'snow-pregnant sky' - I absolutely love this line, Hellon. If the title were anything other than 'Despair' I would look positively on those opening few words as I love watching the snow and don't normally associate it with unhappiness. I suppose that's the cleverness of the opening stanza, for me at least. A 'snow-pregnant sky' coupled with the title and 'giving birth to a blizzard' really throws the reader quickly into a hurricane of dark emotion.

and...

^^

an expectant pause. Where will this lead and where will your mood take you in these unpredictable conditions? Something seismic seems fated to occur...

as I plunged into Sorrow Lake
its undercurrent of worry
pulled me down
drowning me in the
murkiness of life

^^

and here we have it. This 'Sorrow Lake' could, I suppose, be taken as a literal place that you have 'plunged' into and given up hope in doing so, but I would imagine it is more a metaphorical place for giving into and 'plunging' into despair. 'Sorrow Lake' suggests that to me more than anything as I doubt the legitimacy of a place with that name...I may be wrong.

your face...your beautiful face,
flashed before my eyes.

^^

This is actually the bit I found the darkest simply because, when we talk of things flashing before our eyes, we normally reference death in the same breath. So - be it a literal place or not - just how tragic was this final plunge into Sorrow Lake?

A wonderful and beguiling write, Hellon

Ben

This is wonderfully well composed, Hellon, quite the melancholy musing for certain.
It's oft been said that as we die, our lives flash before our very eyes.
Life can do that to you too--make you feel as if you're being suffocated sometimes.
Excellent...
~Dean Kuch

I agree with Ben. The very first line fulled me in, amazing write and a the end was sudden, shocking, and breathtaking.

Hellon, this has got to be,one of he best little piece I have read in a while. So much said in a short piece,that leaves me gasping for breath.

Em

Amazing write!

--- MKKK

This to me is breathtaking, absolutely beautiful written.

Hi Hellon,

I have been obsessed with Ben's writing but this one makes me forget about Bens composition for awhile hahaha lol..

This blown me away especially these lines
---> -->

A snow-pregnant sky,
threatening to give birth
to another blizzard,
mirrored my mood

Bravo! all the best.

Gel

Beautifully written with fabulous imagery. Loved it. Millyx

Just amazing! I'm blown away from this write-

Hello Hellon,

...there is something powerful about nature's weather that relates directly to human emotions. The bilious cloud formations that hang heavy, defying gravity, is much like holding in grief that swells within like your simile.

...after a while, the holding back has to give, like a dam, and once it goes, make way...

...as grief suffocates in sorrowful, drowning waves of sorrow, the reason for feeling so wretched, so impossibly sad is there, an image of their face, so beautiful and yet, so far away...

Well done, Hellon. This is up to your very high standards. Nobody, does it better Carly!

Sometimes love is the only force to keep us afloat in times of despair.

Well worded Hellon, good metaphors and not one word superfluous here!

Well done, take care

Ingrid

Judging Comment

The beginning stanza is one of the most powerful and creative starts to a poem that I have read in quite some time.

Snow - pregnant sky... love it!

Blizzards can bring on despair- heavy thoughts and burdens..

and the ending ties it up nicely, the face of a loved one... melting all darkness... just beautiful!!

This poem popped up in my 'recommended poems' section & i'm so glad it did. I really, really love the first stanza, just the sheer imagery of it.