Spilling my heart out on a piece of paper, just to have some sense of security, some type release. Is really all I can do. Feeling alone, feeling abandoned. I try to make sense of this mess that I'm in. Mentally drained and physically exhausted. Quite frankly I just don't give a damn anymore. I pick up the pen to stop from doing something stupid, I go back to a time when I just wasn't sure I'd survive. Knowing I'll probably stay in that mind set for a few days. This is my form of self harm. The hardest part is after the ink drys and my heart is empty. I ask myself" can I stay strong long enough, until my next session"?