Duality

The pendulum of my mood swings violently
From light to dark and back again
I feel like I am battling my own shadow
With each day and night that passes
I lose a little more ground
I am imprisoned
Slowly deteriorating
How do I stop something I cannot touch
How can I beat that which I cannot see
How does one explain the deep darkness that takes hold
I am crawling, inching towards the edge
Tumbling into the whispers of the abyss
My bruised fingertips
Clinging to the crumbling remains of my mind
Hoping to halt the light slipping from sight
But even passionate rage
Does not drown out the taste of utter defeat
It’s easier to let go
To let the black water fill my lungs
My strength and will for survival
Has abandoned me
The desire to fight is gone
It is less painful to be consumed than to struggle
So here I lie, here I stay
Lost in the never ending grey
Stuck
Between dark and light

2018