Comments : Broken Dreams

  • 3 years ago

    by ddavidd

    It is so sweet DA Good afford!!

  • 3 years ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Nice rhymed piece. Showing a brave face when on the inside there is nothing but pain. Lack of worth and shattered dreams will be relateable to many people. Particularly liked the last two lines "the shattered pieces of my life gleams, overwealming echoes of broken dreams. Milly x

  • 3 years ago

    by Rania

    In your second stanza, I was not sure if you meant to say, "it takes me" ...referring to the steer. But whether your meant to say "I take me" or not; it was a very powerful statement. To confirm that YOU are taking yourself to the deepest places ..to the dark side, is so powerful and brave. To face the fact that the grass is not always greener on the other side, is very hopeless and yet very authentic.
    The poem is not forced and flowed easily. The words' choice is relevant and the structure was good. I loved the theme and how you ended with the ironic combination.."beams" usually showing a positive connotation and yet connecting to " broken dreams"

    Well written! Thanks for sharing!