Comments : Jack In A Box

  • 6 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Craig, I think this is my favorite of yours. It is truly a powerful write and your rhyming is accomplished here.
    Nominated.

    • 6 years ago

      by CJ Maleney

      Thank you so much dude, I wanted to keep this fairly simple but still convey a feeling

      chuffed you liked it and thank you also for the nomination

      Craig

  • 6 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    My how you have drawn a picture of a Jack in a box giving
    it life and feelings...and its so much more relate-able for you have
    put yourself into this picture making it a strong and moving
    write...take care

    • 6 years ago

      by CJ Maleney

      I never had a Jack in a box as a kid but friends did. It was one of those toys that seldom seen light of day. Very novel to begin with but then just thrown into a cupboard. So poor old jack stays in his box more than he is ever out of it.

      It compares well to us trampers (drivers who stay away and live in the truck). We spend more time in the box than out

      Craig x

  • 6 years ago

    by Brenda

    Craig, I really liked this a lot. I liked your comparisons between being a Jack in the box and a truck driver. Awesome analogies!

  • 6 years ago

    by Paul Hirst

    Trapped within your steel box waiting to be released
    Nice write

    • 6 years ago

      by CJ Maleney

      Cheers gjad you liked

      Craig

  • 6 years ago

    by Hellon

    Honestly...I loved this poem! The whole concept of the jack in the box taking on a life of his own really appealed to me. I remember taking my grandson to a second hand toy shop and he just loved the 'box with the funny clown who jumped out'...he would clap his little hands,push Jack back in and do it all over again.

    I know you are comparing it to how your life is and I get that too but...the little kid inside me sees the sadness of poor Jack now tossed aside as my grandson's probably is now but...I appreciate the memories you have stirred up for me. Congrats on your win, very well deserved :)

    • 6 years ago

      by CJ Maleney

      If it brought a smile in whatever way then that makes me truly happy.

      I suppose the poem sounds quite maudlin but it wasn't really intended as such. It was just a comparison I made between myself and poor old jack.

      I'm rather chuffed it took you somewhere else.

      Craig x

  • 6 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I too liked the comparison and the emphasis on enjoying freedom when that opportunity comes. A relatable piece to others when thinking how we all can endure so much, smile on the outside yet still feel a loneliness or emptiness. But focusing on what's ahead, not dwelling on the current or past, will spring us forward to something new. Congrats on the win!

    • 6 years ago

      by CJ Maleney

      Thank you.

      I guess if you have something to look forward too your current circumstance is bearable

      Craig x

  • 6 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Congrats on the Win!! Well penned...take care :)