Oh, Jane. This reminds me of Danny's poem. This reminds me of the helplessness so many of us have experienced, that keeps us awake or on edge or unable to hang on to hope. That same ache and weight of the world on your shoulders, when you know someone's pain, and you know perhaps a way to ease it. You give every part of yourself and it wears you down beyond words, but it's who you are.
I felt that heaviness in this, that question that if you turned away from someone, would you be crushed by guilt? We have ourselves to take care of, too, remember. Your compassion has always surpassed what many people think of as the very idea of compassion. You do good and what you can because of your ability to, your time, skill, love and tenderness toward others... and of course, it may drain you at times. Not that it would not be rewarding and give itself back in inexplicable ways, but knowing there is more suffering out there and that it seems endless... well, that stays with us.
You are such a GOOD human being, you have such a selfless soul. I hope you recognize that and give yourself credit for all that you CAN and are able to do. We can't do it all, however much we wish and however much others deserve it. I just have no more words, just love you lots and am blessed to know you <3
My. Jane the poem is soulful. I am happy to see that you have allowed some of what's at the bottom to float to the surface. This must be only a pinch of what's hidden deep inside your heart. I can feel the heaviness of your words as I read them. So much pain and strength. Indeed such gifts are burdens, they are like double-edged swords.
You are a powerful lady, you indeed can and will, no matter what we say, one can never change who they are even if it's breaking them down. And I say, if you can you should, but never forget yourself, because you OWE yourself to take care of it too.
As I hold my knees on the bathroom floor, trembling, trying not to wake him,
The imagery here and the scene was crystal clear, it gave me goosebumps.
Sometimes I feel the weight of the world, crushing, beating down like thunder.
^ I like how you left the dense metaphors for the closing words of your piece, it was like a treat!
But then your last verse, repeating if you can you should, was like although you were saying you're devastated but reminding yourself again that you should stand up and do what you have to do. I could imagine someone in a race, tired and breathless...but determined to continue..
This here has complicated some thoughts of mine, and at the same time it is inspiring.
I took some time writing a long comment, but I didn't want to ruin the poem. I love it. Im adding it to my favorites. I know I will come back for it someday.
I don't know you, but I could tell how a strong personality you are