This is 100% what I'm talking about when I say a poem makes me uncomfortable, but in a way that makes it unforgettable and unable for me to read just once.
It's mind-blowing how brevity can enhance the impact of a poem, and of course each poem is different and inspires different formats or number of stanzas. The very shocking, blunt image of pulling that blade out paired with the other image of the rope wrapped around your throat... well that doesn't leave the reader.
I will tell you what I thought when first reading. Initially I thought you were putting someone you love out of their misery. You showed mercy through this very jarring final. It also made me think of assisted suicide. After reading the second stanza, my thoughts changed on this. You pretty clearly say you really had no choice, then this poem turned into something else for me. I thought it then became the bitter decision to let someone go in a friendship/relationship to free yourself. You are suffocating. Whether from their involvement or influence, or from your inability to focus on self-care, and you must let them go. That can feel like a death of sorts, that bond severed. The intimacy fading. I also felt a feeling of being trapped, and you wrote this almost factual, concise and to the point. Who knows what would have happened if you kept holding on to this person or the idea of them?
Reading the second time, I see it as moving past grieving someone. No longer actively mourning. Finding your voice and understanding that it is okay to be happy now, to desire a life of your own. Letting the loved one be at peace though never forgotten. In either denying their absence, you halted your growth, silencing your wants and needs for the sake of what theirs would be.
Emotional write that has an incredible amount of depth. We are only human <3
MarryAnne, your interpretation is always on point. Recently I had to cut a very toxic friend out of my life, and it felt awful since I've known this person for longer than a decade, and I get emotionally attached to my friends too much. But what was more awful is keeping her as a friend. It was a hard choice to make. I didn't intentionally write this poem about her, but now that you mentioned it, it makes sense that I unconsciously wrote about her. I also wanted to convey something about how selfish we humans can be, taking advantage of each other's suffering to end our own suffering because it feels much more significant.
Thanks for the comment. Loved it, as always.
I agree with both comments. I've never been particularly good at being succinct in poetry and tend to ramble ... this will linger in my mind and while you've given it context in your comment, it could be interpreted in so many ways.
Fantastic! :-) x