Comments : Extinction of Her Recovery

  • 2 months ago

    by hiraeth

    "You killed her so many times
    in a looped process,
    to create what you desire"

    The speaker doesn't hold anything back and states the subject of the poem is responsible for numerous deaths in an a selfish attempt of the subject to model the speaker in a certain fashion. The speaker starts off the poem with a serious accusation, setting the tone of the poem to be quite grim. The speaker also spoke of a 'looped process' which indicates to the audience that the relationship between the speaker and the subject is something on/off, a relationship that is relatable to most people. The audience sympathizes with the speaker from the first stanza.

    "while
    she only left you slightly
    grazed and punctured."

    Brave of the speaker to admit that they are responsible for some wrong-doing in the relationship, but still paints the subject to be the 'aggressor'/ 'sole culprit'. It also lets the audience know that the speaker can be trusted since they are owning up to their mistakes.

    "she dressed your wounded arms
    by the mulberry silk
    you extracted and weaved."

    The speaker then continues and points out that they took steps to remedy their wrong doings by dressing wounds from material that the subject took from the speaker. This is interesting, because it's at this point the audience gets to confirm their thoughts about the relationship. The speaker 'gives' more than they 'dole out', painting out the speaker to be something an emotional drain. It can be very much taxing, and even toxic to be in a relationship like that. Something most of the audience has dealt with or will deal with at some point in their life.

    "...so
    she crawled back
    into her cocoon
    one more time."

    The speaker then offers the audience some semblance of hope, letting us know that the speaker intends to recover from this relationship. But like mentioned earlier, is it doomed to be another 'loop'? The decision to use 'more' as opposed to 'last' factors a lot, and can sway the reader both ways. Offering something a bit of an alternative ending, which is kind of neat since it breaks the loop. :)

    • 2 months ago

      by Star

      Thaaanks!!!

  • 2 months ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Be still my heart. Will be back. Much love!

    • 2 months ago

      by Star

      Thank you for the nomination MA, that means a lot ^_^

  • 2 months ago

    by Spontaneity

    Hello,

    The title of this poem captured my attention. To be “extinct” is saying that something no longer exists. The word “Extinction” is indicating that something is becoming “extinct.” So, the use of this word informs the reader that the recovery is either becoming harder, or becoming nearly impossible to achieve. It also seems to indicate that the actions that are causing the “someone” the need to recover has happened more than once. Another indication is how much the subject of this poem is important to this “someone,” and that the actions the subject has taken is so severe that is has made it nearly impossible for the “someone” to become well again. Now the question I have is…is this about mental or physical recovery? I think it can go either way.

    You killed her so many times
    in a looped process,
    to create what you desire

    ^Killed is a abrupt action. When I think of the word “killed,” I think of something that is dead and that will never be able to have life brought into it again. This is typically a final decision made for something/someone. When reading this, the use of this word makes the reader understand how much the subject of the poem has hurt the one that cares for him/her. Also, the use of the “looped process” informs the reader that this has repeated multiple times, kind of like the word “Extinction” does in the title. This is a powerful opening stanza, and captures the reader’s attention; I immediately wanted to find out more.

    while
    she only left you slightly
    grazed and punctured.

    ^In my opinion, I feel like the speaker is talking about someone else, and that it is not the speaker themselves that has done this to the subject. Like Mark mentioned, I believe that the person who cared for the subject did their own damage in some way, but not severely enough to “kill” the subject, as the subject did to this “someone.” I like the use of the word “punctured”; in my mind, it seems like the “someone” was once strong enough to leave damage as well.

    she dressed your wounded arms
    by the mulberry silk
    you extracted and weaved.

    ^This stanza is the one that probably peaks my interests the most. The “someone” regretted the actions that she committed enough that she tried to fix what she had done. However, she tried to fix it with parts of herself, which was taking away from her strength, and her ability to recover. On another note, I also looked up mulberry silk. I know that some insects are makers of silk, and I was interested to see if an insect also makes this kind of silk. I discovered that silkworms make mulberry silk, and that these silkworms turn into moths. Moths are very fragile creatures, and the material they help produce is also fragile. This indicates to the reader that the “someone” who the subject was important to is very fragile. It also indicates that the way the subject “extracted and weaved” the silk means that he used the “someone” in some way; it seems like the way that he used the “someone” was not in a kind manner either. It gave me a feeling of heartache after reading it.

    ...so
    she crawled back
    into her cocoon
    one more time.

    ^This is a strong finishing stanza! From the previous stanza, I surmise that the “someone” is being portrayed as a moth. From my experience, I don’t see moths crawl a whole lot; I mainly see them fly around our lights. This, in my opinion, indicates that the moth has recently been “used” enough that the moth is not in a healthy condition. Also, when I hear the phrase “One more time,” I think “Okay, this is it; this is the end.” I think that this is also how it is used in this poem.

    In the end, this poem seems to be about a unhealthy relationship. I am wondering what kind of relationship it was used for, though. It is possible it could have been about a romantic relationship, or it could have symbolized another type of relationship (like a friendship or something). Regardless, the “someone” who is a “she” was used in this relationship; she was used to the point of not being able to recover. This poem is a beautiful representation of how unhealthy relationships can cause distress in people. I am glad this poem was nominated…it deserves it!

    Beautiful/Emotional

    ~S

    Edit: Sorry if I rambled too much ;)

    • 2 months ago

      by Star

      Oh no it is great and interesting, thank you :)
      And by the way in the process of making silk, the silkworms are killed!

  • 2 months ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Well done, STAR!

  • 2 months ago

    by Everlasting

    Congrats !

    • 2 months ago

      by Star

      OMG I’m overwhelmed by this win!!
      Thank you Luce and Ben ^_^

  • 2 months ago

    by Daniel

    I’m so glad this poem won. Beautiful and extremely clever. Well done :)

    • 2 months ago

      by Star

      Thank youuuuuuu Daniel ^_^

  • 2 months ago

    by Tanya Southey

    Beautiful poem, so well done x

    • 2 months ago

      by Star

      Thank you so much ^_^

  • 2 months ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I am back to say a few things! First, congrats on the win. Second, every time I read this I draw a slightly different conclusion. Your use of "recovery" made me think the "you" referenced is this demon, this monster wearing down her mental health as she tries to fight back and can cope for awhile, then is forced into hiding again. Isolating to survive. Other times reading, I saw this as someone or even her own thoughts demanding perfection out of everything she does. Killing her true self, her most authentic self, in hopes to become someone drastically different. To appeal to this person and appease them. So her genuine self is hidden away, time and time again, destroyed and re-created to fit the mold of what society thinks will suit her best. Yet she always tends to this person, caring for them when they are "wounded", yet is this a case where she is only brought out as comfort then ignored other times, made to be invisible unless needed?

    Love this piece so much. It's always an honor and pleasure to read your work! :)

    EDIT: Just read Spontaneity's really cool and insightful comment and I could see that! That would be such a clever use of the mulberry silk and cocoon reference.

    • 2 months ago

      by Star

      Wow you comment had left me speechless. It is always an honor to have you comment :) You have talent with comments ^_^
      Thank youuuuu soo much!!