Comments : The Cosmos in Your Eyes (collab with hiraeth)

  • 2 months ago

    by Meena Krish

    Simply beautiful as well as meaningful!!!
    Liked the sentiments and the images you guys
    have penned here..really lovely!

    • 2 months ago

      by Star

      Thank you so much and for the nomination ^_^

  • 2 months ago

    by hiraeth

    Thank you for writing this with me and for rescuing the poem :)

    • 2 months ago

      by Star

      Thank you for writing with me as well :)

  • 2 months ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Why am I not prepared for this collabs, AGAIN, this is something I never saw coming (like Daniel and Noura's).

    Tenderness, wonder and awe, mixed with some stardust and "star stuff" here. A love and light that knows no bounds.

    You two are magic. Point. Blank. Period.

    • 2 months ago

      by Star

      Thaaankyou so much <3

  • 2 months ago

    by Daniel

    Your writing works well together! Due to vocabulary choice, there are moments I can put my finger on who wrote it but that is not a problem at all! It’s certainly a romantic poem, one that flows effortlessly from image to image. I particularly enjoyed the third and fifth stanza as even though this poem is heavy with ‘starry’ imagery, it’s best when it sounds vulnerable and honest.

    ‘the opulent warmth in your heart
    is more valuable than any metal
    I’ve known.’

    is a little overworded. Opulent stands out as a little verbose? I’ve no problem wiry verbosity but here, it’s too...loud? A mouthful. Stands out too much. I also appreciate the change in lyrical matter to these small refrains but I found this part too disquieting.

    Liked it a lot overall, though. Well done both :)

    • 2 months ago

      by Star

      Interesting, I like it when you point out these things, it makes me more aware while writing.
      Thank you Daniel I appreciate your feedback :)