So far I'm here

I see him here,
Blonde hair and green/blue eyes.

I see him here
His laughter and being abnoxious.

I see him him here
Smiling and holding me- telling me he absolutely loves me

I see him here
smiling and little shadows behind his eyes.

I see him here
while tears run down my face and hes holding me.

I see him here
While he slowly wastes away..letting the demons win.

I see him here,
Black fingers, alcohol breath, needles

I see him here
but he's getting far....can't quite reach my green/blue eyes.

I see him here
...wait, who is this?

I see him here
Asking for help,
Spark of blue and green in his eyes...

Hes coming back-
Hes fighting
The monsters sometimes pull him back

but I see him here by my side.

Dont let them get the ones you love

I see him here and I want him here but maybe not quite by my side.

Everytime ge falls a little piece inside me dies.

The cycle has happened so often that I'mafraid of loosing hope...of loosing him yet again-

I see him here and I hope that by the time get gets it right - he'll see me there but should i not be by his side I hope he's gotten it right.