Comments : False Alarms

  • 1 month ago

    by ddavidd

    The but in the last line turned the poem in such way that I felt the conclusion was not earned.
    But good afford all together in my eyes.

    • 1 month ago

      by Star

      Now that I read it again I understand what you mean. I may try experimenting a different take to this. Thank you so much :)

  • 1 month ago

    by Aegis

    This had my full attention from the start, especially that second stanza. And I agree with what David said. The ending just didn't quite work for me and left me a little confused. Very good effort though<3

    • 1 month ago

      by Star

      Thank you Aegis!!

  • 1 month ago

    by Koan

    Yeah I agree with the others...
    Your closing needs a little tweak..
    I love the read..

    • 1 month ago

      by Star

      Thank you!

  • 1 month ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Well done, Star. Fully deserved.

    • 1 month ago

      by Star

      Thank you Ben :)

  • 1 month ago

    by Everlasting

    Oops! When I read the title, haha I thought you were referring to my false alarm poem. Phew! Glad it wasn’t.

    As I was reading, I felt like I wanted more and then the ending felt rushed.

    • 1 month ago

      by Star

      LOL!!!!
      I get what you mean thank you :)

  • 1 month ago

    by hiraeth

    I'll deviate from the rest of the comments to say that I enjoyed the ending; I'm not sure if it was intentional but since it was so abrupt, it didn't match the poem much like how "the plot/did not match the weather". Poetic & ironic. :)

    That being said I enjoyed this and I really love the second last stanza, it paints an interesting image.

    • 1 month ago

      by Star

      Thank you :)