My heart has never ached for someone so much.
It calls to you, but you cannot hear its plea.
I never realized how much I’d miss you.
Sometimes it feels like I’m drowning in the sea.
No one seems to understand that I don’t blame you.
I’m a hard woman to understand let alone love.
I could never let someone get as close as you did.
In that I fear I didn’t push, no, I shoved.
Please don’t mistake my actions.
I wanted to give you the world and see you succeed.
I didn’t want to chance me pulling you down.
Unknowing I did everything to try to make you hate me.
In my mind I try to justify the mistakes I’ve made.
Yet, my heart screams to me, “Say it isn’t so?”
I couldn’t let myself fall so deeply in love with you.
The mistake, I already had, and in ignorance I didn’t know.
Now, I lay here looking at the stars thinking of you.
Hoping you are happy and chasing your dreams.
I’m sure in time, I will be alright.
For I know, nothing is never as it seems.