Into the Grey

Warm covers for comfort.
White noise for a lullaby.
Air so cold to see breath.
Luring stars from the sky.

Anxiety when eyes close.
Off to the promise land.
Hope to not meet enemies.
Get stuck in the quicksand.

All is well until I dream.
Deep into my racing mind.
I feel trapped and wild.
Nightmares is all I find.

The past still haunts me.
Drenches me in cold sweat.
On a tight rope looking down.
The hope of freedom swept.

My lungs constricted.
Unable to navigate this.
My heart being crushed.
As I hit my chest with fist.

I gasp and awake unsteady.
My trauma breaking through.
My dreams are nightmares.
Binding me as they always do.

When you can’t find peace in sleep.
You do the best to not admit defeat.
My past trauma holds me in chains.
Even when I try to dream and retreat.

White shines bright and untouched.
Blackness a temptress in the night.
Dreams and nightmares intertwined.
Into the grey choosing where to fight.