I wish

I wish I could understand
the secret part of me
the part that won't let go
the part that wants to be free

I wish that my life would change
and my decisions wouldn't matter
but every time I deny temptation
my heart and soul begin to tatter

i wish i could runaway
and leave my pain behind
i wish i could leave this world
with nothing left to rewind

i wish i could stop the hurt
i put you through each day
i wish i could take it back
i wish i wanted to stay

i want to do big things in life
and make somebody proud
but until then I'm quiet
nobody knows I'm even around

i don't like to keep secrets
or hide my heart that's cold
i don't like to hurt you
this game has become so old

i don't want to hurt anymore
no longer do i hide
i don't want to wish through life
now is the time to try

so when you see a change
and believe me you will
no more do i enjoy pain
no longer will your words kill

and when i laugh at you
don't think I'm being smart
because I'm doing what i need
to mend this broken heart