Comments : craquelure

  • 6 months ago

    by Meena Krish

    Its been some time since I read your poem and this one made me read again and again. I liked the unoticed rhymes intertwined with your feelings....nicely penned!

  • 6 months ago

    by Em

    Hi,  theres so many of your wonderful 'musings' this week so wanted to choose one particular one to breakdown and well, this was that one I chose and my goodness I'm so pleased that I did because it's very hard hitting but in a fantastically poet way. The title 'craquelure' fascinated me because the definition is "a network of fine cracks in the paint or varnish of a painting" and it made me feel that the painting is in fact us as people and that the cracks as those that show when we've had bad life experiences because although they usually make us stronger, the scars stay forever so once 'we're cracked' so to speak, we'll always be cracked.

    hold me in the palms of your hands
    and shred me apart as if it were a first
    draft of a poem you’re not too fond of -
    there’s too much of me; i’ll take up
    residence in your heart like dandelions
    running amuck in a usually kempt lawn.
    ^
    I just absolutely love the opening here even though sombre the imagery is beautiful (weird, sorry I know) just someone holding you in the palms of their hands and doing that, it's as though they have some form of control over you - so they can decipher every part of and what makes you tick but yeah the imagery here is perfect.

    i will flower at first, and go to seed,
    you will pluck every last bit of me
    and make a wish. and a few weeks
    later, you’ll have trouble finding a
    single blade of grass. and for that –
    i apologize, even as a child i had
    trouble colouring between the lines.
    ^
    This hits quite heavy with me and I feel it's basically saying sometimes you can be read like a book but other times you wear a masquerade, that works and hides all your troubles... Unfortunately, we all do this.. Some more than others and it's never good but as I say we're all guilty of it, we just need to find someone who can read us more like a book, that way we can get help before we even need it (I know backwards way of thinking but I think you catch my drift.) it's difficult to keep a masquerade all the time, thankfully.

    maybe i didn’t do a good job sealing
    the cracks every time i’ve broken,
    i always feel like i’m spilling, leaving
    a steady trail everywhere i go. you’ve
    always been the balm to my cracking,
    but i cannot ask you to bare that burden
    anymore. sometimes a flower is a flower,
    and a weed is just that –

    a weed.
    ^
    My favourite line in this was this "maybe i didn’t do a good job sealing the cracks every time i’ve broken, i always feel like i’m spilling" because as I've said we all crack and crumble at some point in life, even the best of us and those cracks will always leave us broken and feeling vulnerable but we will carry on regardless, usually and just paint over those cracks, generally with a smile and although we feel like spilling (I love the image of that by the way) we don't because there's too much to lose. And, it's difficult to always feel like a burden to because of our cracks, they leave us vulnerable don't they? The image of someone 'being the balm to your cracking' is quite an imagine and shows an heavy offload so to speak but the fact you mention not being a burden anymore shows a deep love and care for this person too and it goes without saying we all, as with most things, feel like a burden sometimes too for we don't like 'offloading' on to those we love but often, we need to.
    All in all, as usual, a fantastic image filled and thought provoking piece.
    Take care,
    Em x

  • 5 months ago

    by nourayasmine

    “i cannot ask you to bare that burden”

    bare = bear?

    I have no clue how to properly comment on poems that are both incredibly beautiful in imagery and wording, and heart-wrenching in story. The poem went so smoothly, nothing was forced, the pain is raw. I felt like, memories of childhood trauma and insecurities and self-doubt spilled over into this poem.

    I just have one little suggestion. Do you think “the first draft of a poem” would sound kinda grammatically more correct than “a first”? It’s just “a” with ordinal numbers don’t sound quite right to me. Or maybe because I’m used to “a first” to mean the first occurrence of something notable? I don’t know. Just thought I’d share.

    My favorite lines:

    “as if it were a first
    draft of a poem you’re not too fond of -“

    “like dandelions
    running amuck in a usually kempt lawn.“

    Also, I didn’t know what the title means before now, so thanks for adding to my vocabulary!

    • 5 months ago

      by hiraeth

      Thank you for the lovely comment, both you and Em!

      Yes, it should've been bear, and it should be 'the first', I overlooked those mistakes. Thank you for pointing it out!