Comments : subtle truth

  • 1 week ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    STAAARRR!!! I had to quickly log back in because I saw you posted this. One of my immediate favorites from you, though I have so many. The reference to Harry Potter was perfect, that single mention of platform 9 and 3/4, of fantasy, of wanting to avoid what is really bothering us, what we need to face: ourselves. I liked that you didn't add any other mentions, that reference was strong enough to really carry the poem, and the brevity added the harsh reality of truths we often avoid.

    The last two lines being separate from the previous stanza was a great choice, and "train of denial" just left me feeling cold and lonely. Especially with the illusion of drifting to some other reality, some other universe where we are different versions of ourselves. Where we can be curious and happy and embark on adventures that don't have to do with our past. Yet, there's nothing. Nothing that could keep us preoccupied.

    It reminds me of emotionally running away or investing our time in other things, keeping ourselves busy until there is literally no more room. Until we come face to face with whatever trauma keeps following us and manifesting itself in whatever we try to do.

    I believe there are some things that we honestly can't just move on from or forget about. We have to face them headfirst in order to be able to truly "live" again.

    I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!!

    • 1 week ago

      by Star

      You actually got really close to what I was going for, it's amazing !!
      Thank you so much MA ^_^

  • 1 week ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Congratulations!

  • 1 week ago

    by hiraeth

    Congrats!

    • 1 week ago

      by Star

      Thank you Mr. Darcy and Hiraeth :)

  • 1 week ago

    by Keira Pickard

    Congratulations on this clever piece :)

    • 1 week ago

      by Star

      Thanks Keira :)

  • 3 days ago

    by Everlasting

    Ouch. I love the tone. The flow. And if I hadn’t read MaryAnnes comment, I wouldn’t have link this to Harry Potter. I am tempted to show this piece to my husband, he usually gets references pretty easily. Specially from Harry Potter. I wonder what he would say?

    I like this piece.

    Congratulations on the win!

    • 3 days ago

      by Star

      So what did he say? Lo
      Thanks Luce ^_^

  • 2 days ago

    by Em

    Hey star, the title 'subtle truth' could, I feel, be about anything for example when a lady asks 'does my bum look big in this' and theor partner isn't entirely honest so as not to hurt them. Unfortunately, we do this a lot as human beings, here in the UK we call it beating about the bush - what a saying haha.

    you thought walls don’t move
    but they do
    you lean on them quietly
    and they take you in
    ^
    The image of walls taking us in as we lean on them is as far fetched as walls talking though would be good if we were lonely, like me, just to be hugged even if it's a wall.. I'm weird, I know. I do like this though.. There's a deeper meaning in there but I can't seem to r think of it..

    it’s not the fantasy of
    nine and three quarters,
    there’s nothing on the
    other side
    ^
    I love the reference to Harry Potter here, well played!
    there’s only you
    and the train of denial
    ^
    This is ending is just, wow because for the most part in life we only have ourselves to blame for the things that go wrong as we could change them and I still believe this after longstanding abusive and controlling relationship, I still blame myself for not leaving sooner but there comes a time in our lives that we say 'enough is enough' and have done with it. I like the imagery of a 'train of denial' following someone around, it would hurt but I'm guessing it will be just desserts.

    Congratulations on the win,
    Take care,
    Em x

    • 2 days ago

      by Star

      LOL you are very right about the title it really could be anything :)

      Also I’m sad to hear about your relationship, no one should go through that!!

      Thank you so much Em your comments are always great!