Comments : Too sad… (English Sonnet)

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    This is brilliant, Michael - perhaps the best sonnet I've read from you.

  • 2 years ago

    by Em

    Hello Mr. D
    The title 'Too sad' could literally relate to anything and I guess many of us can relate to many of life's downward spirals because we've all suffered them in one way or another, unfortunately.

    In days gone by the wind blew soft and new,
    Just like a lover’s soft caressing kiss.
    But now the wind is cold and that’s the truth.
    Oh why, are zephyrs bare of all of this?
    ^
    This starts like a beautiful love story from the lovers first kiss and how gentle the winds were but then you're hit with the change of path and it doesn't end like you'd wish it to and though the imagery is wonderful it adds to the sadness of the piece as I can feel you starting to question why and where things went wrong.

    You’ve torn away the forests from the streams,
    Erasing all the right from all our wrong:
    If nature knows what’s really best for me,
    Why did she steal the chorus from my songs?
    ^
    The sombreness in this stanza is extremely strong in this stanza. The words 'torn,' 'erasing' and 'streal' all add to the sadness here and it makes you question all that is bad in the world especially if you definitely don't deserve it, I've been here many times but as you know I'm stronger now that ever before and I believe you are too, thankfully although I know life is never easy.. If only there was a handbook, eh?

    We used to dance until the sun would shine.
    You opened up my soul and set me free,
    But now you’re gone, and music makes me cry.
    Your void has taken all my melody.
    ^
    The first two lines here are very majestic and it shows how good a love can be when it's returned yet the second lot of lines show how a love can destroy lives also and make you question your very being. The contrast within this stanza was cleverly done.

    You showed me how to feel the songs I hear,
    Now music is too sad without you near.
    ^
    The ending here is extremely sombre and one where I can feel the pondering questions of 'why me!' 'what did I do?' etc etc and it's extremely normal to question, what you did to deserve the heartaches in life but what we need to realise is it says alot about the person causing the heartache not us and that people are sent into our lives as blessings or lessons.
    All in all a fantastic Sonnet and glad to see that it's nominated,
    Take care,
    Em x

    • 2 years ago

      by Mr. Darcy

      Thank you, Em. Your throughout comments like this one are always a joy to wake up to.
      You are right, why me - why does the sparkle from life not appear? It must be because you are not hear!

  • 2 years ago

    by Em

    Congratulations on the win

  • 2 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    The depth of sadness is caught in this Sonnet gently, slowly and beautifully painful, that it makes me as a reader feel more...a moving write..

    Congrats on theWin!

  • 2 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Congrats on the win.

  • 2 years ago

    by prasanna

    What an excellent sonnet. Congrats on the win.

  • 2 years ago

    by Deana Seaman

    I love this! very real. Poetry that speaks to the heart of the reader is to me what poetry should do!

  • 1 year ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    Structurally the sonnet is well crafted: 10 syllables for each line, Shakespearean rhyme scheme (a-b-a’-b-c-d-c’-d-e-f-e’-f-g-g where ‘ indicates a near-rhyme). The octet is consistently about the present misery, while the sextet starts to deal with the past joy, although it then reverts to the current plight.
    As for the content, you have created a consistent tale of woe, but there is a hint of a deeper sadness. Most of the verbiage could easily reflect lines from a jilted lover. However, lines 7 and 8 speak otherwise. It is not the volition of the lover that took her away, but nature. In my interpretation, the lover has died, leaving her partner bereft without the bitterness that might have come from rejection. Truly a masterful job of subtle story-telling.