I AM....

The second stanza didn't have the third and fourth line rhyming, but I don't know if that was intentional, not keeping to a strict rhyme scheme... it took me out of the poem for a second. "Doesnt" also needs an apostrophe but that's my only other critique.

This was such a heavy piece, and I first took it as a mother figure silencing the child, robbing them of free thought and choice, discouraging any freedom to grow up and be who they are. I liked the last line the most, because it showed the reality of how some people can appear good to others, perhaps they put on a different face, as opposed to how they treat and abuse you. There's a real and hopeless kind of sadness in dealing with that, the fear of having what you go through be undermined or invalidated because "no, that person could never do such a thing".... whether that's people seeing what they want to see and refusing to hold people accountable, or whether this person is a pro at living these lives: one of being sociable and kind, and one where they bring you down every chance they can get. I've felt this personally with someone in my past, someone who only showed their anger with me and a few others, so I was scared that it would seem unfathomable to others if I spoke up, since he was regarded as such a "family man".

I also took this poem as possibly referring to your own depression; "she" keeps you from having control of your own life, taking every chance to knock you down and make you feel worthless. And it really does become, as you implied, something we believe so deeply, especially when depression sticks around and seeps into every part of our life. It's hard to escape that if it's all we've known, and if we don't know how we can ever reach a place of self-love and acceptance, without our mind wanting to sabotage all of it.

Thanks for sharing this.