you ask why I won’t see you.
why I won’t meet up.
like it’s simple.
like I’m cold.
but the truth?
if I see you
Face-to-face
I’ll fall apart.
again.
and I can’t do that anymore.
I don’t know how to love you less.
I don’t know how to look at you
and not remember everything.
the good, the brutal,
the way we kept breaking
and calling it love.
twelve years.
we burned through every version of us.
we lied.
we tried.
we tore each other up
and called it fate.
and still
you’re not the one that got away
you never really left me.
you’re under my skin.
you’re in my bones.
almost forever.
but forever doesn’t mean healthy.
it doesn’t mean right.
it just means
you’re the ghost I’ve made peace with carrying.
I can’t trust you,
but I’ll always love you.
from a distance.
from the silence.
from this side of goodbye.
