We were trouble while being troubled;
And it was the best two weeks of my life with you back then.
We laughed and lied about it-
the bathroom smelled like blood and antiseptic soap as we cleaned the earrings with soapy paper towels;
Then shoved them in the ears of our consenting roommates.
We snuck into each others room in between those fifteen minute checks.
Shared gossip and laughter;
your face was a light I so desperately needed to see even though we were both drowning,
So I kissed you.
Clumsy volleyball jokes and inappropriate never have I ever questions almost landed us on peer restriction-
We were the best mischievous troubled kids together.
I never stopped thinking of you.
Not after we planned to meet up that summer and run away together.
Or the day I walked out of those locked metal doors;
Leaving you behind in a world that had broken the brightest light I ever knew.
I searched for you for years but I didn’t know your last name;
Now I sit on my couch at twenty eight reading your obituary from ten years ago,
Chest heavy with grief that you didn’t make it like I did.
But we were trouble and troubled-
And it’s so unfair to live in a world where you no longer exist and I do.
