My mother still walks, my mother still stays,
Yet I've mourned her loss in a thousand ways.
She breathes the same air, she speaks the same name,
But the love that I needed never truly came.
How do you bury what's still alive?
How do you heal when you barely survive?
How do you grieve someone standing in sight,
Yet spend every day feeling lost in the night?
I cried for the comfort I never could keep,
For the arms that should've held me when I couldn't sleep.
For the lessons unspoken, the guidance unknown,
For learning too early to stand all alone.
I waited at windows, I waited at doors,
I waited through heartache and countless wars.
Convinced if I loved you enough, you would see,
The daughter still begging, "Please choose me."
But seasons kept changing, the years rolled away,
And hope became heavier day after day.
The child in my chest kept calling your name,
While silence and distance were all that remained.
So I grieve for the mother I wanted to know,
For the seeds that were planted but never could grow.
For every soft moment that slipped through my hands,
For every "I need you" you couldn't understand.
And maybe the saddest part isn't what's gone,
It's carrying the ache and still moving on.
It's knowing you're living, yet feeling the end,
Of a bond that could never quite break or mend.
But I come from a line where the hurt runs deep,
Where women wear wounds they refuse to speak.
Where pain becomes legacy, passed hand to hand,
Like a curse written into the blood of the land.
And maybe my purpose was never to win,
But to stop what was broken from breaking again.
To carry the burden, the sorrow, the blame,
And walk through the fire instead of the flame.
So I'll mourn what we weren't, and I'll carry the scars
But I won't let it shape me into who you are
Because though you're still living, this much is true
They'll say I broke curses that generations knew
They won't say I repeated what I had to hold.
They'll say I overcome things that should have turned my blood cold
They'll say I built something stronger
Something you could never do
They'll say they dont know how Im your daughter
Because of everything I didnt get from you
