The gentle man wins this time.
That’s what I wrote to you at approximately 2:15am-
Only two beers deep and filled with happiness that wasn’t complicated for the first time.
You were sleeping and had checked in a couple hours before when you woke up to pee;
But I was hitting my vape in the casino bathroom and thinking about how incredibly lucky I am that you spent three years teaching my nervous system what it feels like to breathe.
To have given you the chance to show me that love does not always mean slammed doors and slaps to the face,
Or broken wrists and crying alone.
And at first glance the line says something more shallow-
More “I chose the nice guy this time”,
So when I went back and reread the message the next day I sent you the poem that explains it.
‘The gentle man wins this time’- i’d said,
Because somehow, even half drunk,
something so deep inside of me knew that trusting kindness again took three years of consistency from you.
