I grieved the golden tinsel in my hair.
I had a sinus infection-
A headache that matched the pressure in my chest over your absence,
I played with the glittery strands and willed myself not to cry.
How can someone’s kindness be so… unkind?
And I was in someone’s else’s bed;
Half naked and sick,
still checking my phone for your notification six weeks after you left.
As if your name on my screen could erase the hollowness you left behind.
September first came so quickly that the days blurred the way my vision did once the month mark hit.
The nights are getting colder and I’m angry because your words still keep me warm-
A blanket of better days and fleeting memories of soft hands,
Your breathing was so deceptively calm and now I’m questioning everything again.
I wanted to spend the summer with you in sundresses.
Now I’m sitting on the bed of someone who is present-
Grieving the golden tinsel in my hair that you never got to see.
