Freedom - pt. 2

Please, just wait one moment and allow me to explain
See, I created alter egos from years of trauma and pain

Well, not created because one day they were just there
I heard them as I was crying about life never being fair

One would whisper, blaming me or laughing at my tears
The other would scream or shout and list all of my fears

At some point I gave in, blaming myself, laughing at all my pain
Screaming at my own reflection as I list all of my sinful shame

Hope replaced by hate, patience replaced by agitation
Spending my free time in my own twisted imagination

As my anger and pain became my new addictive sensation
I slowly became their new sick, dark, and twisted creation

Angry at the world, mostly at myself for being so weak
Hungry for pain and suffering as my peace began to leak

So I took sharp brushes, painting pain into my skin
time and time again, I allowed them both to win

I called them Rage and Chaos, each an unwanted guest
Embracing pain and self torture, never giving me rest

Feeding me pain on top of pain, more pain without end
So much pain that I began calling pain my best friend

Seeing me in pain Rage would smirk, Chaos would roar
Suddenly my pain became a deep ocean without a shore

And as I began to sink, still they would call
Waiting for my surrender, knowing I'd fall

I'm not sure when it happened or came to be
That with them here I could never be set free

So I tricked them, you see, found a place to write about twisted little me
Unleashed them in small and clever stanzas and began to wait patiently

Words would flow, better that than my vein
All as they waited, wishing that I'd go insane

But as I kept writing, I found something I had forgot
Relief and encouragement, and the joy that it brought

People read my words and I found out I wasn't the only one
It's easy to think small in this world but this isn't the only sun

With that I found a sense of freedom, if only brief
And I turned my dark ocean into a vibrant reef

In their confusion of my joy I locked them away
Knowing that they would break free some day

So now I strive to better myself and this peace that I foster
As they fight to be free cause every ocean has its monsters