I woke with your memory over me-
Blue eyes and a soft smile dissolved by the light in my kitchen,
I nearly cried as I tried to force myself back to sleep to see you again.
It almost worked.
I don’t remember falling asleep-
Exhaustion cut to the bone and I closed my eyes for a minute,
Now it’s ten in the morning and the sun is out.
I’m forced to think of you because it’s so nice,
I wondered what the weather is like where you are.
Send postcards.
And I went out for the drinks we never had last summer-
It was such a shame because I’d vowed so many Klondike bars for it,
I was fully prepared to get drunk and share them with you.
Instead I cried in the bathroom before I even made it through the third drink.
Grief loves to show up when it’s inconvenient-
Curling in the chest like a tight coil,
I clutch your pillow and sob until my throat is raw like maybe if I cry enough you’ll come back.
I still can’t decide the exact amount of Klondike bars I’d eat for you to do that.
I woke with your memory over me-
Blue eyes and soft brown curls fading into kitchen light.
Or maybe it was the sky.
Either way, you were somewhere I couldn’t reach.
